Tenths of a Second
by soul.assassin.547
Summary: In a fraction of a second, everything happens at the speed of thought, even to the point where sudden and cruel death is inevitable. Mami Tomoe contemplates about her entire life and the decisions she made within this single sliver of time.


One-tenths of a second.

The time it takes for the brain to obtain visual information by translating the images captured on the retina by light, and then creating the visual perception of the world surrounding him or her.

Mami didn't know this little factoid, as the Witch that she supposedly defeated all too easily quickly morphed into a colossal beast, a gargantuan caterpillar with a cartoon face, rainbow eyes, a flower right on the top of her nose, and two floppy ears, colored red and blue. No more than that fraction of a second the beast closed in so fast, Mami could almost touch her face, before the friendly-looking mouth opened to reveal razor-sharp teeth, gleaming in the light, a comical depiction of a shark's complete dental work (and, surprisingly, no cavities despite tons of cyclamate-laden glop laden all over the Witch's domain).

In this same fraction of the second, Mami summoned every bit and piece of her memories stored in the mind, concentrating as much as possible to accommodate them into that very fraction, for she damn knew well that if she could no longer remember, Madoka and Sayaka might have to memorialize the short legacy that she had to leave behind.

And at this moment, her brain registered the sordid fact that she was about to die in the jaws of this serpentine, clownish monster, and uttered a soundless curse that her mouth could not bring out to say, no different from the last utterance of a sake-driven kamikaze pilot in a Zero fighter plane about to smash into the superstructure of an American aircraft carrier, but instead had its wings shot out by anti-aircraft guns and thus spiraling down into blue water:

_Oh, shit._

**

* * *

ONE-TENTHS OF A SECOND: The Short Second Life of Mami Tomoe  
**A _Puella Magi Madoka Magica_ Alternate Path Fanfiction  
By soulassassin547  
Written on 3/2/2011 9:40 AM

* * *

She could remember the first time she met QB years ago, in the worst circumstances possible for a dying girl, when the car crashed into an oncoming delivery truck on the expressway, killing both of her parents in the front seats.

Breathing heavily and bruised, Mami was angry, desperate, dying, wanting to live, to get out of this wreckage. She could feel that already the crash had inflicted severe damage to her body, with broken bones inside, causing internal bleeding as the jagged ends of shattered ribs punctured her organs in several places; in some places she could not move her legs any further, her lower vertebrae smashed, severing the spinal cord on that very spot, making it more difficult to crawl out of the wreck on her own power.

Lying on her back, on the carpeted flooring sprinkled with shards of plastic and glass, she could look out of the moon roof of what was left of their car, watching the clouds in the blue sky slowly sail by. She could also smell the essence of burnt rubber and iron, both from the car's squashed steel frame and from the blood of her dead parents, mangled beyond recognition as they were strapped to the seats, then when the car rebounded off the truck, spun and then hit the center divider, it met an oncoming 18-wheeler Fuso barreling without warning, which then hit the front end and accordioned it completely, the engine bursting through the firewall, the dashboard and all crumpling the couple into a space of just several centimeters wide, before jackknifing up into the air and crashing onto the pavement.

So much for advanced automotive safety.

But anyway, QB was perched right over her, on the roof, peering inside with interested red eyes as his tail gracefully danced and twirled around, completely unconcerned about the girl's state of mind and body.

"Who are you?" Mami asked, her breathing ragged, desperately trying to breathe.

"My name is QB," the strange feline creature answered.

Gasping, Mami said, "I'm dying… But what do you want? Can't you do something?"

QB shook his head. "What I can only do is to grant you a wish."

Mami blinked. "A wish? Look… This isn't the right time for jokes."

"This isn't a joke," QB reminded. "What I offer is for real, and I can make any of your wishes come true… but only if you first accept my offer to make you a magical girl."

"I… Impossible," Mami objected, as she tried to check her ribcage by feeling it with her right hand. She winced in pain, finding out that she indeed had two broken ribs. "They only exist in TV, in those cartoons."

"If you value your life, I shall make your wish come true," QB said. "This is the only chance you have, and the choice is yours. You must make a contract with me."

For a moment, Mami thought very hard, even in this state of shock and delirium.

QB was patiently waiting for her to decide, and Mami realized that QB held the power of life and death over her, provided that she makes the choice. If she died alone, would anyone be able to pick up the tab to bury them? She had no relatives, her parents apparently forgotten the parents who raised them, as they long ago cut the ties that bound them as family.

And even if she lived without QB, would she be able to walk away from this wreck? The paramedics and the firefighters might be able to extricate her and then bring her down onto a stretcher, but once she came out of the hospital, would she be able to walk?

No.

At best, if the doctors discharged her, she would have to move around in a wheelchair, but at worst, she'll become a vegetable on bed, fed with IV drips but without purpose to society, a burden to the taxpayer, and sooner or later someone might pull the plug on her.

In an hour the internal bleeding would overcome her body, the loss of blood weakening her completely until her brain would shut down from the lack of oxygen.

There was no other choice except to make the next move, so Mami summoned whatever feeble strength she had to take a deep breath, and then uttered the words that would bring her back.

"I want to live," she whispered. "But not to die alone."

"Are you sure that's what you want?"

Mami nodded. "Yes."

* * *

After the contract, Mami crawled out and walked away from the wreckage without a scratch on her, nor a bone broken. Just after she made the first 30 meters out of the car, the gasoline leaking from the ruptured tank made contact with a naked fire in the demolished engine compartment suddenly whooshed into flames, enveloping the entire wreck in a devastating inferno,

Surprised, she looked back and stared at the funeral pyre that was almost made for her. For a minute or two she watched, before turning her attention to QB, who was sitting right before her.

"Thank you," Mami said. "If it weren't for you…"

QB shook his head. "It's no big deal, Mami. There's a great future waiting for you," he said.

"What kind of future?" Mami asked as she looked at the beautifully strange, egg-like object that was in her palm, glowing golden yellow.

"You'll be okay if you must fight the Witches first."

Mami blinked. "Witches?"

"That's right," QB said, nodding. "That Soul Gem you're holding is your power, and the marking on your fingernail and the ring signifies that you're a genuine magical girl. I guarantee you that as long as you defeat those Witches and pick up the Seeds of Grief, you use that Seed to remove the darkness on your Gem, for you have to keep it clean to make sure your powers stay intact; otherwise if you leave the Gem to dim, then things can become nasty."

"Nasty? Why?"

"Of course, if you neglect to do as what I say, you'll lose everything."

Mami sighed. "Okay, I promise that I'll be very careful from now on," she avowed, before they could hear the sirens.

* * *

In the next few years afterwards, Mami became adept to her new role; by day she was a diligent student, blessed with a large trust fund that her parents left in their will, ensuring her total independence; but after dusk she was on the prowl, hunting down Witches and their minions by using the Soul Gem as a tracking device.

Whenever she found her enemies, Mami would transform herself, and then in a full-on dervish brought out her muskets and fire away with a hail of bullets; opponents were easily dispatched, first the minions and the foot soldiers, and then the enforcers, before confronting the Witch, which she used the _coup de grace, _the _Tiro Finale,_ by blasting it back to oblivion with an oversized version of her weapon.

She was flawless, fast and on-target every time, every night, and as if no Witch could stop her as she served justice and bullets, despite they kept on coming like cockroaches, by two dozen or so, trying to corrupt people and then enslaving them.

Mami found the entire routine pretty much like she was acting a superhero's life, doing all that, destroying the enemy to make the city safe for everyone, and it was also standard operating procedure to pick up the Grief Seeds to maintain the balance and purity of her Soul Gem, which kept her forever young and healthy.

But there was a price to all this, as it dawned upon her that using magic has its consequences, for it darkened her Gem, and she must obtain Seeds as much as possible… and finally, should she had any negative thoughts, it would affect the Gem like a virus, and thus she must maintain a positive outlook at all times, even if she sometimes wished she had the freedom to think of the one thing she failed to do: bring her parents back to life.

Worse, she had to compete with others of her own kind, determined to collect every one of those Seeds, like no more than trying to score a hit of crack. Especially Homura, her closest opponent that, much to her misfortune, she didn't know where she came from or who she really was… as if she came from another place and time.

Going back to the issue of her parents…

Damn… Why can't she have the right to mourn? To have a bit of sorrow once in a while? Or to be angry? Or, for the sake of totality, to have a wide range of emotions apart from happiness. It's not everyday when she can always have a smile stuck on her face, but she really wanted even a tiniest amount of pain, whether a pinprick or… something brutal and bloody.

Speaking of pain… Pain makes one human and feels alive. Sure, Mami had this second life given to her, yet she felt that this wasn't what she wanted…

_Why I can't think of dying? Why I don't have a chance to lose even for once? Why I can't be free just like everyone else? Why I need to live alone anymore?_

* * *

She wasn't sure if it was the answer to all of her questions, but Mami found herself crossing paths with Madoka, a girl one year lower than her, as Homura was trying to exterminate QB and at the same time an illusion was erected to trap both Madoka and the injured QB. Mami then knocks out the minions, before allowing herself to address QB's injuries.

Well, at that point QB seemed so much eager to induct Madoka as a Magical Girl, giving her lavish praise and admiration, and Mami figured that he must've sensed that the girl must have an insane amount of potential hidden within… She then wondered if her time has come to designate a successor and then move on.

Or if QB had any hidden agenda for her, perhaps something more sinister.

Mami decided that, with the girl finally coming to her life, this must be the right opportunity for something to kick in, to break this vicious cycle and out of this mortal coil, and to finally come to terms with herself.

And so Mami befriended Madoka, to sell to the girl the benefits of being one of her own kind, even as she chose her words carefully while explaining all of what that girl needed to know and prepare for, lest she offend QB, who held absolute power over life and death.

Yet Homura was trying to stop her from making the sales pitch, and again, after Madoka and Sayaka found a Grief Seed that was about to break.

Except Homura warned her that the Witch she was about to confront was not the usual cannon fodder she fought since the first battle, and that the signs were everywhere, telling her not to sally forth.

But what the hell, Mami must do what she needed to do, rather than to be entrapped in this cycle, and so she quickly bound Homura, to keep her from pestering any further as she began outlining her escape plan.

* * *

Almost by the end of that fraction of that second, as if this moment until death was almost certain to last forever in this slow-motion state, Mami knew that in this end she could use her last act of personal free will.

The only freedom she can have right now, even as the beast opened its razor-edged maw, and no one else can stop her from deciding her fate. To die honorably in the presence of friends and their tears, however brief her friendship with Madoka and Sayaka was, preferable than to die alone and be forgotten in a nondescript grave in a cemetery.

She knew they'll remember her kindness, and that was one thing that reassured Mami, without regret or recriminations, before Charlotte snuffed her out.

Peace at last.

**

* * *

Author's Notes:** This small piece was written after watching the first 8 episodes of _Madoka_, and consuming whatever media needed to understand the storyline. But what really moved me to write was that mind-blowing _Madoka_ X _Inception_ trailer mashup,

To Mami Tomoe… Thank you.


End file.
